Karma Kure and Bone Throwing

My past two mornings have been hellish enough to warrant any self-respecting mother to hit chocolate/marshmallows/swedish fish/drug of choice intravenously with zero shame or self-hate and loathing.

Just to recap: We have a cockatiel, his name is Mauricio. Mauricio came with the marriage license, he’s basically been around longer than I have – nine years at least. Back in 2002, this bird survived a 3-hour stint lost outside in the dead of winter, five days before Christmas. He got spooked off his cage, rounded the corner and up the short flight path to the open front door with three flight feathers each side.  We eventually found him three blocks away in a tree in someone’s back garden.  I will add that we had to cross a four-lane road to get to him.  He was unhurt and fine, just frightened.

Fast forward to 2006.  Ian was almost two and we’d just got home from his cousin’s fourth birthday party.  Having placed his helium balloon in the house, accidentally scaring the bird off his cage, I went to retrieve Ian from the car.  As the words “Careful! Birdie is on the floor” slipped out my mouth, his attention was broken by said helium balloon and he stomped after it gleefully, crushing Mauricio underfoot.  He had a huge lump on his back next to his wings.  Unknown to us, he had ruptured an air sac and barely escaped death.  You may like to know that not only are very few vet offices open at an unearthly time of night, the number who see birds diminishes greatly.  The closest vet he could go to was an hour away in Sandy, Utah.  We were in Layton at the time (read: a different county entirely).  With rest and minimal interaction, he recovered.  If you really want to, you can read the full account here.

Months later, as Bryan was preparing to fix the car, the bird flew off his cage again, scared by the loud noise he’d heard coming from the garage, and flew out the door into the open garage.  Luckily for us and him, he had dumbed down that day and landed on the window blinds adjacent to the open wide garage.  He was retrieved again and life resumed.

Fast forward with me, if you will, to yesterday.  The mobile/cell phone rings and I stumble to retrieve it past our carpet cleaner, vacuum and a few other tripping obstacles of choice.  The bird, obviously flummoxed by something, decides to leave his safe haven on the cage and lands flat on his face on the floor – sans flight feathers.

These past few days, Toby has been given longer visitation rights throughout the house thanks to good behaviour.

With my back turned, I was oblivious to the bird’s new room perspective — that was until I heard the screeches.  I bolted right to see the dog chasing the bird across the floor, millimetres from his teeth, feathers strewn in his path.  As I scrambled to retrieve Mauricio, I screamed loud enough to draw attention from Alaska twice.  Thankfully I was able to get to him before the dog did any real damage, but I had to pry the bird from under his front paws.

That was yesterday.

Today not long after Cameron woke me up at the crack of dawn (remember he can climb out of his cot/crib now), I took the dog out on his 30-foot leash to relieve himself – he told me his back teeth were floating and to get a bloody move on.  Not twenty minutes later he was whining again.

He’s been really good this past week at doubling back when I shout come! if his attention is sparked from the front of the house.  I will, however, note that I did NOT have treat in hand, and he knew it having come back to me twice.

Minutes after 8 o’clock, and as I stand there in our back yard fully dressed but unshowered and entirely disheveled, he decides to take for the hills at the sound of a car engine pulling into a driveway across the street and 300 feet from us.  Knowing I am without treat, he ignores my pleas to come! and runs in the opposite direction directly into the path of not one, but two on-coming work-bound cars.

If you just said ‘you should have leashed him’, that’s the kind of fancy College talk that’ll get your head butted around here, pal.

I am not a morning person.  I wouldn’t even be as bold to say I am a mid-afternoon snack person.  I sped towards the oncoming cars (not in trainers/sneakers, mind you, but thankfully not in flip flops) knowing that they would have a better chance of seeing me coming than a small, speeding Cairn Terrier on an acid trip.  He rounded her car five times making me flounce around like a beanbag with legs before she was able to move.  I stand there, still dogless, completely helpless and muttering to myself.  She made it about 40 feet down the street before she stopped again seeing the dog belt towards her at full non-human speed, opened her door and loving said “come here Toby, aww what a cute little thing you are–“.  She then scooped him up as I sheepishly made my way to her door affronted and embarrassed with my tail between my legs.

The SUV behind her smiled at me and I half-grimaced back, hoping these poor women would never have to see the living dead gallop past their windscreens chasing a belligerent arsehat pooch again anytime soon.

Running theme?  I think so.  THE DOG.

It’s been 5 glorious weeks and 4 days of Puppydom.

Having made it thus far, you may be wondering the reasoning behind my sudden verbiage.  Well, I am hoping that I can spread good karma across the blogosphere – pay it forward, if you will.  Karma and I are planning on becoming good friends tomorrow morning.

So, without further ado, I present to you my very first awards ceremony.  Having been given quite a few in my 3 years+ of blogging – two of them just last week – it’s about time I gave some back.  Even if you’ve received it before, take it anyway you ingrate.

I pass this Excellent award to Aye Wonder, A Brit Out of Water, Mom or Mum Wars, Magneto Bold Too!, From The Planet of Janet, Burgh Baby, If I Could Escape, A Day in the Life…One Glass at a Time, Blok Thoughts, Mum of 4, Wundurful Wurld and XBox4NappyRash.

Thanks to Blok Thoughts for this one last week.  I now bestow this award on: Seeking Sanity, Anglophile Football Fanatic, Momisodes, Let’s Go Away for Awhile, Big Apple Little Britainer Just Chicken Feed, LongAyelander in Glasgow, Shamelessly Sassy, Twists and Turns of Life with Curls, Immoral Matriarch, Plain Jame, Playgroups Are No Place for Children and Secret Agent Mama.

I also got this award last week from Mumof4 and Blok Thoughts, so I’m passing it along to: Suburban Scrawl, Mocha Momma, Lilac Colored Glasses, A Calm in the Chaos, Lou Cee L, A Murder of Crows, Boss Sanders, ExPat Mum, If Mom Says OK, Jameil Et Cetera, Licensed to Blog, Glass Half Full and Synchronization of Us.

If I never have to link again in a single post, it will be too bloody soon.  I love all of you.  You complete me in so many ways.  No really.  Some make me think, others feed my soul, some tickle my fancy, and the rest of you make me chortle.  If I have missed anyone, please feel free to cyber-slap me in the comments section.

P.S.  Do you read a load of blogs like I apparently do?  I highly recommend throwing yourself a frickin bone and utilising Google Reader or Bloglines or the like.  While you’re at it, go ahead and subscribe to me, it’ll do wonders for my unswollen Scottish ego.  Muah.

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34 responses to “Karma Kure and Bone Throwing

  1. Dogs are terrific even when they are not. There’s nothing like the unrequited love of a child but a dog isn’t bad at all.

    Mauricio? Italian bird, huh?

    And lastly, thank you very much for your kindness and recognition. I appreciate that you are a regular reader and commenter (even though I have been politi-centric lately). I will display it proudly.

  2. Well poo. No award for me. I think I’ll go eat some worms.

    Just kidding! Loved the story! Finny (8 years old, Husky/Shepherd mix) has pulled some beauts like that!

  3. thanks for the award! i read less than a dozen blogs with any regularity, but you’re one of them!

  4. Be careful with Toby & the bird. I actually knew another Cairn owner who had the dog eat the tail feathers & the poor bird didn’t make it. Aren’t terriers just WoNdErFuL? I loves me some Cairn.

    And, thakns for the award, darling. I loves you, too.

  5. Now that is something I would PAY to see -You as described in this post. I can’t begin to tell you how much I admire and respect you – you and the extraordinary family of women you come from. I am so glad you found me last November. You and Sandy C. were among my very first. That you still come to me, and I to you – well, all I can say is, we have lasted longer than most teenage romances.

  6. Thank you! That’s pretty cool.

    Good luck with the dog and bird cohabitation. Pop on over to mine if you ever need reminding it’s better than mice and cockroaches!
    Wishing you loads of karma, LB x

  7. Vielen vielen Dank. And if ever there was a post to read if I were ever contemplating getting a pet – I think yours would just about do it!!

  8. Thanks a bunch for that… but what am I meant to do with it? I’m glad I’m no longer a blog award virgin but this being the wedding night and all I’m not sure what goes where.

  9. Excellent write up of the same story the neighbors told me… they said it was very entertaining to watch too… just kidding.

    Do I get an award for being the best supportive husband in the world?

  10. Good heavens! You could have the Discovery channel filming in your house 🙂

    Thank you so much for the award and congrats on receiving them. As Lou mentioned, you are both some of my original bloggy friends, and will always hold a special place in my heart. This means more than you know. Thank you 🙂

  11. Woo hoo…well well well…

    thanks a million, I’m well chuffed.

    I’ll be sticking this up on my ‘Lurve’ page for the world to see!

  12. Thank you! It means alot to me!

    Do I get bonus points if I already subscribe? Hard to tell since I rarely comment. I really need to work on that!

  13. I’m thinking that bird has more lives than a cat. Holy hells bells in a handbag.

    Thanks so much for thinking of me when you were passing out love. You rock!

  14. I got an award!!! My first one 🙂 Thank you so much! Okay, Toby and Chester need to be best friends because they are the cutest thing in the world. My favorites in this post–arsehat and Toby’s floating back teeth HAHAHA

  15. Sounds like your little terrier and my lumbering Lab were twins separated at birth. She loves a good game of make ‘mommy’ chase me too. Thank you so much for the award, I have been coveting that one for a while. I can’t wait to hang it up at my place.

  16. That bird sounds a bit highly strung? Wouldn’t you think he’d get used to domestic noises having been around for so long. I don’t envy him living with his new housemate though!

  17. Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.. Thanks Dolly, it means a lot coming from you!!

  18. Awww… Puppies! And if you yell at him, people will say what a horrible person you are for yelling at cute innocent puppies.

  19. ohhhh, thanks, sweetie!! i’m honored!

    and as for your dog and bird tales … better you than me. i have enough trouble with the rat dogs!!! 🙂

  20. Awww shucks. THANK YOU! Have put the trophy in my bling case and a link to lovely you. Have also tagged you by the way. Come on over and see if you get a min to escape from your menagerie. x

  21. Oh, poor little thing! I hope he learns his lesson and stays in his cage! Yeesh!

    And thanks for the award!!!

  22. Awwwwwwwwwwww! Thanks!!!

    And, ooh what a right carry on you’ve had. Shall I put the kettle on? Sounds like you need a cuppa tea and a sit down!!

  23. I’ll gladly catch a bone thrown my way! Thanks, my dear. That was mighty nice of you.

    When I think back to my first days of blogging and chatting you are at the front of my brain. That list is awfully special to me as you are. I wish I connected more with you these days, but dangit! They keep making me work.

    Kisses to you!
    xoxo

  24. I’m the opposite. I’ve had a glorious 5 weeks or so without a dog. And it is heaven!!

    Thanks for the love!

  25. Aww, you’re sweet! Thanks! And such a cute award too! I’d like to first thank God of course, and my parents, and my husband, and the kids and dog…

    xoxo

  26. Hey babe, thanks bunches!

    And of course I am already subbed to you…

  27. Thanks for this award, you crazy Brit you ;).

    Good karma was on your side for sure. Crazy pet adventures … that might be a new show for you.

    I say you are a brave soul, having with two kids and two pets… or should that be more, as those are two really, really active creatures. The kids can’t even convince me to buy them a mechanical dog.

  28. Thanks for the blog bling! Now I just have to figure out how to post the thing…

  29. awww! thanks shuv! lol. as for the dog– HANDFUL!!! we used to have to chase my dog ebony AROUND THE WORLD!! it was a nightmare!! she would feel a loose leash and snatch herself away (i was only 11 or 12) and it was off! lol. smh in retrospect!

  30. Thank you very much! I’m flattered! I was an award virgin until you gave that one to me!

  31. Whats this… an AWARD? Well I’ve never had an award before.. ahem, I’d just like to thank the academy, and thank my husband and children for giving me something to blog about *chokes up* and I’d like to thank God for giving me you… *sob sob*

  32. Holy crap! Yes, hit the chocolate! You deserve it!

    And thank you for passing such a fun award on to me. You rock! 🙂

  33. Holy heck. How in the crap did I miss this? Can I blame being sick and pregnant? No? Okay, I’m just sucky. Sorry. Thank you SOOO much for my award 🙂 I love it. And, I’m so glad you come around 🙂 mwah!

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