If you ever find yourself watching a two-year-old.
If it goes quiet.
If you note said quietness and go to investigate, but walk in the completely wrong direction.
If you backtrack and find her. Her being someone else’s two-year-old.
If you inhale so bad you deplete oxygen for the whole room as you notice she’s smeared nappy/diaper rash cream all over her cardigan and a square foot of your 2.5-year-old carpet.
If you’re glad you bought a steam cleaner a few years ago, but quickly realise it’s not taking it off . . .
Be grateful for Google.
Shout Triple Action (clothes) stain remover. Huggies Thick N’ Clean wipes also came in handy.
Damage removed.
Nightmare gone.
Take that how you wish.
a Brit different 