T13: Thirteen Things Every New Mother Needs

You know, there are a plethora of baby novelty-things-you-need-for-your-child manufacturers out there, all trying to sell you the next big thing.  Some you need, some you think you need, and some are only useful for the cardboard box they come in.

Apart from a few basics (like clothes, bedding, feeding stuff, etc.), I think the things a new Mum needs are:

• The Cot/Crib
• A Diaper Bag
• A Baby Swing
• A Travel System Stroller
• A Foam Changing Pad you can move around
• An Infant Bathtub
• A Nasal Aspirator and Baby Fingernail Clippers (cut them after a feed)
• Toys

Forget those Exersaucers, all they do is encourage thigh strength and leg development, and before you know it, you’ve got a walker on your hands.  Believe me, it’s only cute the first time.  You don’t need half that paraphernalia they try to sell you.  Everything else is just fluff.  Here’s what you do need:

1.  A Bleach Pen to remove projectile vomit stains from your (white) clothes.  It’ll also whiten up vests/onesies stained with the ever popular blowout sessions.

2.  Magic Eraser.  Get rid of photo frame dark chip marks in your wall with this little beauty.  Also great for removing pen from walls.

3.  Baby Wipes.  If you have a boy, you’ll need these to wipe the directed urine off your face when you’re changing his bum.  These also remove lipstick from your shirt and yogurt from your carpet.  You’ll wonder how you ever lived without them.

4.  Resolve Triple Action Carpet Stain Remover Spray.  After removing the excess paint with a credit card, this is the only thing that removes deep violet-coloured acrylic stains from your 6-month old carpet.  Don’t ask.

5.  Which brings me to:  A Steam Vacuum.  Self-explanatory.

6.  Era Active Stain Fighting Formula.  Rub this in pre-wash.  Great at removing foundation, lipstick and grass stains from your shirts.  Again, don’t ask.

7.  Gorilla Glue.  Fixes your expensive Thomasville photo frames filled with your wedding photos right up.

8.  Masking Tape.  You’ll need this 8 days after you move into a brand new home that has no window blinds yet and your 2.5-year-old glides a Matchbox plane into his bedroom window at curveball speed.  This works until you get it repaired in the dead of winter for $107.

9.  Mylicon Gas Drops:  A sweet miracle in a bottle.

10.  A Dry Erase Marker.  Rub this over your new PC monitor screen that’s covered with black Sharpie, it’ll come right off.  Don’t believe me?  Go try it.  Yes, do it!

11.  Child Locks for Doors and Cupboards.  Forget safety, these will save you grief and headaches.  Pay particular attention to bathrooms and the pantry.

12.  Beanbags.  You’ll wonder what you ever did without one and your child will grow to love it like another appendage.

13.  You Tube.  Want to distract a crying baby or toddler and going outside to look at the moon isn’t cutting it?  Then search for ‘In the Night Garden episodes’.  Problem solved.  It may appear as though the producers of this children’s show have questionable extra-curricular activities, but your little one will love it.  And, it’s far less obnoxious than Smellytubbies.  It also has a catchy, adorable theme tune that will get stuck in your head for months.  You can thank me later.

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Here He Is!

 

The hospital has a website set up where you can leave us a message too.  Find it here. 

41w +1

Tomorrow morning it is then.  Unless he makes a move later on tonight, that is.  Stay tuned.

The Long Road Home

I am now dilated to a 3.  My doctor also stripped my membranes to see if it would move things along for me.  The next available induction day was next Monday, so I have a definite date if things don’t go anywhere before then.  Trouble is, I have to be there at 07:30.  They only set aside 3 spaces per weekday for inducing mothers, to give walk-ins the chance to birth, which I think is totally fair.

We had to go back to Costco, so I could pick up the contacts I’d ordered, so we took a walk around to see if anything would come of it.  At the checkout one of the women there smiled and said, “when’s your baby due?”  I laughed and said, “three days ago.”  Both she and the one right behind the till were a little shocked that they hadn’t taken me in to get me started and we explained about the inducing scheduling.  Then one of them said, “is this your first then?”  And I am just as surprised that I have went overdue as everyone else seems to be, but somehow I was kinda expected it.

I started feeling some contractions coming on in the store, but didn’t take too much notice.  Then about 25 minutes after leaving the doctor’s office I started having some major contractions all within about 6-7 minutes of each other.  Now, bear in mind I had just come from my doctor’s office, and the last thing the medical assistant said to me was, “you know, if you’re having regular contractions 6-8 minutes apart – just go.  Go to the hospital.”  So I kinda had that thought in the back of my mind.  I watched the clock vigilantly from 5:36 p.m. onwards and they were regularly spaced out, all much stronger than last week, for the duration of an hour.  So I thought, ‘why not, the hospital’s right here, may as well go in and see if it’s anything.’

Long story short, the contractions got stronger, same amount of time in-between and then after a while they gradually tapered off and got less intense.  We walked around the ward for an hour to see if that would give any indication of what direction I was headed in and I slowly realised it was probably time to head home.  Again.

I’m actually fine, I’m not concerned or depressed about it at all.  Just really sarcastic.  The baby is fine, his heartbeat is great and the fluid is perfect, everything is fine, my body just isn’t quite ready.

I’m fully expecting Ian to be mad at me for not bringing home brother (he’s having a sleep-over tonight).  But give him a week after he’s here and he’ll be telling me to put him in the trash.

Personally, I think the baby didn’t want to come out because he’d heard it was going to be -8F (-22C) tonight, and I don’t blame him one bit.