If you ever find yourself watching a two-year-old.
If it goes quiet.
If you note said quietness and go to investigate, but walk in the completely wrong direction.
If you backtrack and find her. Her being someone else’s two-year-old.
If you inhale so bad you deplete oxygen for the whole room as you notice she’s smeared nappy/diaper rash cream all over her cardigan and a square foot of your 2.5-year-old carpet.
If you’re glad you bought a steam cleaner a few years ago, but quickly realise it’s not taking it off . . .
Be grateful for Google.
Shout Triple Action (clothes) stain remover. Huggies Thick N’ Clean wipes also came in handy.
Damage removed.
Nightmare gone.
Take that how you wish.
a Brit different 
Wow. I’m so sorry.
And so happy you googled!
Is that BOTH nightmares?
I am SO glad to see you come back.
Eek!! Silence is never a good sign in our house either. Good to see you back here a little hun. 🙂
OH NO!!!!
Silence can be a scary thing, can’t it?
Even now if it gets too quiet in my house I NEED to go investigate. That nightmare I gladly don’t have to worry about any longer.
Oh No! I always know there is trouble when the house is quiet:P
In my house, unless they’re asleep, it seems quiet children are usually up to something bad!
I just tagged you Siobhán, should you care to respond.
oh. yuck.
thank you, professor google.
Google is truly a lifesaver. Too bad it can’t tell you where the toddler is and what it’s doing at any given time so that you don’t have to find messes unexpectedly.
That’s what I keep saying… AMEN for GOOGLE!
Google is my friend too…except for the time my granddaughter decided to faux paint part of my bedroom with nail polish. Google couldn’t help me then, only a fresh coat of paint could.
When all you want is silence, it can be horrible 🙂 Glad the mess is gone though!
I always panic when my house gets quiet–never a good sign. Glad to hear that Google and you were able to clean up the mess.
Quiet, never good unless you KNOW they are asleep. ; )
I bought my first steam cleaner several years ago after my then four year old smeared purple sun block all over a brand new chair! Grr!!
What a grand little blog this is. I understand when you write about being homesick, yet settled where you are now. I’ve lived in Scotland for 4 years, adore it, but still miss the big country of Canada.
But I try to avoid ever having to babysit. Not until they are out of diapers and can make up stories with me about dragons and other adventures.
What would we do without google, seriously!!!
Glad it worked! Diaper cream is vicious, seriously, vicious…
Yikes!!! That even sounds horrific.
So glad Google helped save the day.
I love Google. I do . . .
This is being saved under–GOOD TO KNOW!
Glad to see you back. Missed your writing and comments.
Are you back? Really?
Just a quick flyby to say hello – and see that you’re okay and stuff.
lol! Been there, done that. With both kids. The most recent was on the morning of their birthday party – 3 year old son slathered himself in Sudocrem (and you KNOW what a mess that stuff is!) from head to toe! He looked like Casper the ghost!
Time for an update w/ photos of family.
t44-nck
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That’s hilarious…or someday you’ll look back and laugh. One time one of my kids spilled a half gallon of white paint on my new carpet. I left her alone for one minute. I got it all out with a Bissell Little Green Clean Machine. The hardest one I’ve ever had….Baby oil. One of my daughters had learned to write her name on everything and she decided to write her name on the carpet! I never could get it all out. When the carpet would start collecting dirt in that spot, which happened to be in the high traffic area, you could read her name. Enjoy them while they’re young, they grow up too quick!