T13: Randomiser

1.  I’m tired of seeing IKEA, Kohl’s, etcetera; ads on TV.  Why?  Because the nearest Kohl’s, for instance, is 500 miles away.  Why?  Why?!

2. I’ve always fancied myself on a game show and I think I’ve whittled my choices down to three: Cash Cab, Lingo and Wheel of Fortune. Although admittedly, I would most likely lob the “free spin” card at another contestant for blatant misuse of a spin by buying a vowel. Is there anything more redundant?

3. You know, you really don’t realise to full extent how becoming an ex-pat will revolutionise your life, in every aspect conceivable. Even the small things, like singing a nursery rhyme can engage full-scale verbal warfare from both (pat and ex-pat) parties:

“The wheels on the bus go round and round ‘all day long’ because our public transport system is far superior and goes all day, not just until 4 o’clock in select areas!”

“The spider was eency weency!”

“Look, The Black Plague was a catastrophic pandemic stemming back to the mid-14th century.  We sing ‘a-tishoo, a-tishoo’ because sneezing was the first sign of infection.”

“I’d rather ‘put it in the oven’ than throw it in.  You know, I’m sure even by Pudding Lane (London) standards, that would have been against Health & Safety Regulations.

4.  I love getting letters, postcards and even parcels in the post.  I have a dear friend – and she knows who she is (WTH does that mean anyway?) – who surprised me beyond measure and sent me a very sweet and unexpected gift that the UPS man cowered in the torrential rain to bring to me.  Thank you, L.  I less-than 3 you.

5.  Is it just me, or are the Brits taking all the TV presenter positions here in the States?  I have to admit though, I have little to say about Russell Brand who I thought was a little too British and perhaps beyond comprehension with all his Britishisms and humour.  When you live over there, you think the two nations are very similar, but after you’ve been here a while, all the differences and nuances poke their heads up.

UPDATE: I take back what I said about Russell.  I just watched him on youtube on The Late, Late Show w/ Craig the Beloved.  If you’re entirely interested, go here and then here. Thanks Kat.

6.  I’m feeling quite somber today on the 7th anniversary of the terror attacks in NY, The Pentagon and PA.  It’s amazing to me how there are certain life events dotted throughout our life and we know exactly what we were doing and where we were.  This is undoubtedly one of them.

We had been married for four months and had moved into our two-bedroom apartment two months previous.  I had recently landed my very first (and only) job here the previous month.  That day I phoned in sick feeling awful like I was coming down with the flu.  I later realised it was something I had never experienced – allergies.  Bryan had left around 20 minutes previous and was still commuting to work when he phoned me.  I sat on the La-Z-Boy the remainder of the day and wept.  Wept for those that lost their lives, for their families and friends and for those who died just going about their business.  I also remember how vulnerable I felt in the following days as we’d drive under passing planes and how the weeks and months ahead were filled with uncertainty but also amazing resilience.  I will never forget the strength of the human spirit, those heroes who put others’ lives before their own and regardless of where fellow mourners lived in the world, for one day, we were all New Yorkers.

7.  I’ve been Moi-Moi’d.  I promise I’ll get to it before the week is out!

8.  This past little while I’ve noticed how amazon.com’s delivery times have really went pear-shaped.  I don’t mind paying for delivery to get something sooner, but don’t tell me it’s available and then e-mail me the next day with a sorry-we-were-wrong-and-we-suck excuse.  Meh to Amazon.

9.  It’s official people.  Remember a month-and-a-half ago I lamented about saving energy (but not money) by unplugging appliances and lamps we don’t use regularly?  Before we left for our most recent 10-day trip, we flipped the breakers everywhere except the kitchen, the living room (DVR = Precious) and inside the garage.  Can I have a drumroll please? BrrrrrRrrrrrr! Our newest bill was $60 less than the previous.  Yeah, I KNOW!  I only wish we’d done this whilst we were gone for 3 weeks earlier in the year.

Useful Tip #46: Unplugging saves you $0. Don’t unplug, flip the breaker.  Disclaimer: Unless it’s your fridge, freezer or other food preservation or freezing electrical genius appliance.

10.  I changed my mind about steathily putting the dog on Craig’s List this morning after he ran away from me AGAIN – this time after a huge black pickup truck.  I stood expecting to see him smooshed, but the young guy stopped and got out of the cab and I coaxed Toby back to me.  I had treats, dammit!  In my defense, he was bursting to pee, the grass was crunchy with morning frost and I thought he’d be in-and-out and we’d be done with it. Meh to Toby.

11.  I PROMISE I’ll do my Word of the Week, backdate it and post a link to it.

12.  I could totally go a chippy right about now.  I hate it when I get cravings for foods I can’t get here.  Don’t worry, I wanted Mexican when I was in Scotland.  I would even have settled for Taco Bell.  That’s desperation people.

13.  I’ve never been so grateful for WordPress and the automatic draft saving.  That’s all I’m saying.

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