T13: Randomiser

1.  I’m tired of seeing IKEA, Kohl’s, etcetera; ads on TV.  Why?  Because the nearest Kohl’s, for instance, is 500 miles away.  Why?  Why?!

2. I’ve always fancied myself on a game show and I think I’ve whittled my choices down to three: Cash Cab, Lingo and Wheel of Fortune. Although admittedly, I would most likely lob the “free spin” card at another contestant for blatant misuse of a spin by buying a vowel. Is there anything more redundant?

3. You know, you really don’t realise to full extent how becoming an ex-pat will revolutionise your life, in every aspect conceivable. Even the small things, like singing a nursery rhyme can engage full-scale verbal warfare from both (pat and ex-pat) parties:

“The wheels on the bus go round and round ‘all day long’ because our public transport system is far superior and goes all day, not just until 4 o’clock in select areas!”

“The spider was eency weency!”

“Look, The Black Plague was a catastrophic pandemic stemming back to the mid-14th century.  We sing ‘a-tishoo, a-tishoo’ because sneezing was the first sign of infection.”

“I’d rather ‘put it in the oven’ than throw it in.  You know, I’m sure even by Pudding Lane (London) standards, that would have been against Health & Safety Regulations.

4.  I love getting letters, postcards and even parcels in the post.  I have a dear friend – and she knows who she is (WTH does that mean anyway?) – who surprised me beyond measure and sent me a very sweet and unexpected gift that the UPS man cowered in the torrential rain to bring to me.  Thank you, L.  I less-than 3 you.

5.  Is it just me, or are the Brits taking all the TV presenter positions here in the States?  I have to admit though, I have little to say about Russell Brand who I thought was a little too British and perhaps beyond comprehension with all his Britishisms and humour.  When you live over there, you think the two nations are very similar, but after you’ve been here a while, all the differences and nuances poke their heads up.

UPDATE: I take back what I said about Russell.  I just watched him on youtube on The Late, Late Show w/ Craig the Beloved.  If you’re entirely interested, go here and then here. Thanks Kat.

6.  I’m feeling quite somber today on the 7th anniversary of the terror attacks in NY, The Pentagon and PA.  It’s amazing to me how there are certain life events dotted throughout our life and we know exactly what we were doing and where we were.  This is undoubtedly one of them.

We had been married for four months and had moved into our two-bedroom apartment two months previous.  I had recently landed my very first (and only) job here the previous month.  That day I phoned in sick feeling awful like I was coming down with the flu.  I later realised it was something I had never experienced – allergies.  Bryan had left around 20 minutes previous and was still commuting to work when he phoned me.  I sat on the La-Z-Boy the remainder of the day and wept.  Wept for those that lost their lives, for their families and friends and for those who died just going about their business.  I also remember how vulnerable I felt in the following days as we’d drive under passing planes and how the weeks and months ahead were filled with uncertainty but also amazing resilience.  I will never forget the strength of the human spirit, those heroes who put others’ lives before their own and regardless of where fellow mourners lived in the world, for one day, we were all New Yorkers.

7.  I’ve been Moi-Moi’d.  I promise I’ll get to it before the week is out!

8.  This past little while I’ve noticed how amazon.com’s delivery times have really went pear-shaped.  I don’t mind paying for delivery to get something sooner, but don’t tell me it’s available and then e-mail me the next day with a sorry-we-were-wrong-and-we-suck excuse.  Meh to Amazon.

9.  It’s official people.  Remember a month-and-a-half ago I lamented about saving energy (but not money) by unplugging appliances and lamps we don’t use regularly?  Before we left for our most recent 10-day trip, we flipped the breakers everywhere except the kitchen, the living room (DVR = Precious) and inside the garage.  Can I have a drumroll please? BrrrrrRrrrrrr! Our newest bill was $60 less than the previous.  Yeah, I KNOW!  I only wish we’d done this whilst we were gone for 3 weeks earlier in the year.

Useful Tip #46: Unplugging saves you $0. Don’t unplug, flip the breaker.  Disclaimer: Unless it’s your fridge, freezer or other food preservation or freezing electrical genius appliance.

10.  I changed my mind about steathily putting the dog on Craig’s List this morning after he ran away from me AGAIN – this time after a huge black pickup truck.  I stood expecting to see him smooshed, but the young guy stopped and got out of the cab and I coaxed Toby back to me.  I had treats, dammit!  In my defense, he was bursting to pee, the grass was crunchy with morning frost and I thought he’d be in-and-out and we’d be done with it. Meh to Toby.

11.  I PROMISE I’ll do my Word of the Week, backdate it and post a link to it.

12.  I could totally go a chippy right about now.  I hate it when I get cravings for foods I can’t get here.  Don’t worry, I wanted Mexican when I was in Scotland.  I would even have settled for Taco Bell.  That’s desperation people.

13.  I’ve never been so grateful for WordPress and the automatic draft saving.  That’s all I’m saying.


17 responses to “T13: Randomiser

  1. I have 5 words to say to you missus: Beware of the Craigslist Loons! (see my recent post)
    And yes – all this changing the words of nursery rhym es has really narked me off. Ring -A Ring A Roses especially. “Ashes, Ashes, we all fall down.” ????? Like you say, NO IT”S NOT!!!!! dare I say it, not the first time I’ve experienced Americans trying to re-write our history….

  2. All great observations. Do yourself a favour, always put a leash on the puppy.

    I didn’t think unplugging electrical items made a difference. Hmmm. Research beckons.

  3. Are we a bit blue, Missy? Cheer up! There’s 104 shopping days until Christmas!

  4. Mike, it’s not the unplugging that made a difference, it was flipping the breakers that did it.

  5. You make me laugh! I would sell the dog…seriously it’s not worth it! lol!

    I also wanted to try Mexican over there in London…thought I’d see what it would taste like…I should have, then I could’ve given you a good review of how it was…There was only ONE Mexican Restaurant when we looked it up! lol!

    Congrats on the saving on the Energy thing! or bill! 🙂

  6. You have morning frost? *sigh* I’m so fed up of the heat and humidity here.

    I always wanted to be on Blockbusters when I was a kid. Would defo apply for Countdown if they had it over here!!

    Have you sung Five Fat Sausages in public to your little one yet? Not very PC, but mine loves it! Have it in my drafts to post one of these days!

  7. i feel about sonic the way you feel about kohls and ikea.

    i LUST for a cherry limeade. alas, commercials only. no actual sonic.


  8. If I didn’t have Kohl’s I would go nuts. Poor Toby needs a leash–a retractable one otherwise it’s annoying. Have you started using the funky lightbulbs to save? I have and haven’t bought a bulb in two years.

  9. FYI: I posted about David and our first date. It’s a long one but you need to pop by!

  10. 1. I would really like to be near an Ikea. Kohl’s no. I will never shop there after working for Jansport and having Kohl’s orders sent back only to have the prices tripled.

    2. Wheel of Fortune. Yes. We have a Wheel of Fortune game that we plug into the tele and I kill at it. I just need 2 or 3 letters before it’s solved. It’s got to the point that I have a pad of paper to write the answer down on when I work it out because I’m that good – and people were doubting.

    3. The word changes are annoying but singing Head, shoulders, knees and toes to the American tune really drives me batty. Isn’t The Wheels on the Bus tune a bit different too?

    4. I love getting post and sending it and I love saying ‘parcel’ instead of package.

    5. Wasn’t Kat Deely presenting some celebrity dancing show? It’s been a while since I’ve watched TV but when I spot someone from home it makes me happy inside. Angel from Home and Away was on Monk last week… Australia might be my other home.

    6. I felt somber too. After reading so many blogs with tributes and thoughts on 9/11 I was sad even more. I read a lot that said stuff like “that day America was changed” or “America learned to stand together” etc. I’ll probably sound rude now but America sees itself as the centre of the world, everything revolves around it, they get involved in other countries business. It wasn’t only America that was changed, America wasn’t the only place affected or sickened or that experienced loss. It’s not all about America. The whole world was changed.

    You put it nicer than me but I think we were going for the same sort of point.

    7. Do it.

    8. Don’t get me started on Amazon’s delivery.

    9. I told my MIL about this and she doubted me. When we’re paying bills I’m totally going to make the most of this. Bless you for passing it on.

    10. How does the wee terror get out? Don’t you have a gate? Keep the little blighter on a lead. Save yourself the exercise.

    11. I stopped doing WOTW a while ago… Do it so I can send my readers to you 😉

    12. There’s a place in Montrose called Roo’s Leap that does some Mexican food, not much but more than anywhere else. It might be the only place in Scotland that does it. Genius.

    13. Ok.

  11. When I watched Russell Brand on the VMA’s I wanted to punch him in the face. So annoying. So high school.
    But then I saw him on Craig Fergusson and I nearly peed myself about 12 times. I was laughing SO hard. I think he needs someone (Craig is so good at that) to play off of. He wasn’t very funny on his own.
    Meh. I love that. I’m using it now. 🙂

  12. 1.) We get ads for Red Lobster and there aren’t any in our state.

    3) I have explained to my children that it’s definitely ‘atishoo’, not ‘ashes’ because you sneezed first and then fell down dead when you had the plague. The burning the bodies (ashes) came AFTER you dropped down dead! They take great delight in correcting their American playmates!

  13. Lingo and Cash Cab force me to shout the answers at my TV and vowels in Wheel of Fortune are for idiots. I less than 3 WordPress and it’s draft savings… saved me many times. We are getting a new Kohls by the end of the year, but IKEA is still 250 miles away, and the nearest Macy’s (commercials every five minutes) is probably in New York… I live in Florida. Meh!

  14. Sorry I didn’t help mentioning Ikea!! I love Craig Ferguson – I think he is a bit dishy too! But I STILL don’t get Russell Brand.

  15. Sorry, still didn’t find Russell funny but rather disturbed. He can go be funny in Britan – we have Canadian comics to keep us laughing here in America.

  16. When I was in California my sister dragged me into Ikea and we proceeded to spend the 9 hours it takes to circle the store. We don’t have an Ikea close by here. Good thing.

  17. I agree – Scotland needs a place that serves good Mexican food. Luckily we live near Lupe Pintos deli and can buy lots of tasty Latin stuff.

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