Of all the things I actually craved about being back in the UK, it had to be stuffing my face with nonsense: Auld’s (legendary) Fudge Doughnuts, sausage rolls, curry, and of course, most things deep fried. You’d be forgiven for thinking I’ve come back a “Lardass”, and by rights I really should have. There weren’t many meals (and non-meals) I ate that were hitting every nutritional requirement, if, indeed at all.
It was great.
It’s amazing how tasting something we haven’t been able to enjoy in a while gives us comfort. Imagine my horror as I chewed my way through a Pot Noodle, only to discover
they’d taken all the bad crap out of it–it was almost healthy! It was horrible! And, as I drowned it with a tall, cold glass of Tizer, I almost sprayed that all over the adjacent wall. “No artificial colours or preservatives??!!” What are they trying to do to me? Prolong my life?” It was reduced to red-coloured Sprite, instead of the fruit-flavoured, bright red drink full of hallucinogenic E numbers we’d all grown to love and become accustomed to.
To make matters worse, organic food was the same price as non. Keep things up like this and the UK’ll be getting a good name for itself.