Thirteen Things I Need to Do/Get Done

1. Pray more for Gran. Mum told me the other day that she’s (Gran) mentioned she’s feeling pressure in her stomach. I don’t want to think about it. I’ll cry if I do.

2. Do a normal load of wash (fine. OK, six maybe even seven loads).

After a short stint at Church, Ian runs off to get a drink of water and comes back with this doozey:

“Daddy, I need to poo. Uh-oh too late!”

I sat hunched over, my shoulders shaking in silent laughter as I heard him go up the aisle hand-in-hand with Daddy talking in 3-year-old loud:

“Daddy, there’s poo in my pants. Daddy, there’s poo in my pants. Daddy, there’s poo in my pants.”

Luckily there was some other vocal distraction and it was hard to make him out.

It didn’t end there. Goodbye, we’re not returning. I wasn’t laughing much now. Two words: stomach flu. Pants gone. Four words: Fleece blanket around legs.

I spent two fun-filled days chasing Ian and his devastation around whilst chained to the washing machine. He’s had this before — twice. The first time he was 18 months old and despite efforts to force liquids down his gullet, he ended up in the ER with severe dehydration after 11 long days of projectiles from both ends. It was a sad and scary time. Luckily it never got that bad. He was fine yesterday and back at pre-school (presumably to catch something else) today.

3. Hang up 3 week’s worth of laundered clothes and put anything else in drawers.

4. Hide clothes baskets to eliminate temptation for the rest of the stuff I need to wash.

5. Go give Bruce at the post office a right good gob smack.

Taking Cameron’s passport back to the Post Office was the easy part; having Bryan deal with the newest member of the Spanish Inquisition, Bruce? Nightmare.

Bryan was asked to write “Urgent Rewrite” on the outside of the envelope by the passport agency people a-go-go.
Bruce: “What did you do that for?” he projected with a venomous accusatory tone reminiscent of a Sith.

Bruce: Holding the certified mail label aloft “Why do you want certified mail?”
Bryan: “Because I need to know it got there.”
Bruce: “Do you want insurance, signature on delivery and delivery confirmation that has a tracking number?”
Bryan: “No, certified is fine.”
Bruce: “Why?”

Bryan: “Do you have a Priority Mail envelope that doesn’t have a window in it? I don’t want people seeing what’s inside.”
Bruce: “Why?”
Bryan: “Because my son’s birth certificate and passport are in there, I don’t need to have his identity stolen.”
Bruce: “Sir, the USPS doesn’t do that. We don’t steal peoples’ mail.”

After recounting the story to me, I responded, “No, they just shoot people.”

*Incidentally, he did finally get one without a window.

6. Buy a new toy for each for my boys for the plane(s) for a (hopefully) lengthy distraction.

7. Phone United Airlines and tell them how much they suck for not allowing the use of Baby B’Air on their flights.

8. Get my family pictures back from the photographers. OK, granted we got them taken 29th Dec and I just made up my mind which ones I wanted ye-s-t-e-r-d-a-y and it takes a few weeks to get them … shut your dirty mouth! Remember what I said about more than four choices and I go into melt down?

9. Find Cameron’s hair brush instead of using the lint brush, despite how effective it may be.

10. Think about buying a swimsuit. OK, I’ve thought about it.

11. Get back on the treadmill. I haven’t been on for five weeks, but despite that, I’ve lost SEVEN pounds already. I am officially a MEDIUM (size, that is) again. Don’t hate on me.

12. Buy a rain cover for the stroller. We’re going to Scotland after all.

13. Buy provisions for the trip, it’ll cost twice as much in Scotland. About 100 nappies (diapers), Graduates food, fruit cups, Gerber juice and fruit snacks/roll ups. Also buy some Crayola Colo[u]r Wonder Packs. Thanks for the tip, Mumof4!

And the one that didn’t make the list:

Get dental work finished. When I was there on Valentine’s Day having my gum line violated and separated from my teeth, words like possible, root, canal and crown were being flown around molesting my ear drums. I went in yesterday for an appointment cleverly disguised as an “exploratory exam” and had said root canal performed on tooth No. 20. It was actually pleasant, well, as pleasant as a dental appointment can be. He’s a very good dentist and I managed to make him laugh on a few occasions which just fuelled me to keep doing it. (I’m like that.)

It’s my own fault, I waited seventeen months to go see him. *leaning forward so you can smack my forehead*

I have to go back again for a temporary crown. *heaving dental bill (but with 90% coverage) sigh*


12 responses to “Thirteen Things I Need to Do/Get Done

  1. A quick funny story like your church story.
    Here’s the setup: A friend of ours is a diabetic and needs insulin shots. Often times her husband administers the shot with a quick injection on the arse.
    One day our friend and her three year old were visiting the bank. Once it was her turn at the teller’s window, she picked up her three year old son and sat him on the ledge of the teller’s window. The boy, quickly assessing the fact that the teller was behind glass and required his loud voice, proclaimed to the teller and everyone in the bank that “daddy gives it to mummy in the bum.”
    Well then, time for a new bank I’d say.

  2. anglophilefootballfanatic

    Bruce seems to have the characteristics of the clan that is his name’s origin…brash & opinionated. You will get it all done. Breathe. I’m very jealous of the weight loss.

    Are we getting audio (when you get time, of course!) of the Wed word?

  3. Whew… I’m tired just reading that list. Hey, if a lint brush works, I say stick with it. =)

  4. Oh no! That poop and fleece blanket story will now give me nightmares! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I worry about how often my daughter will get sick once she starts preschool….

    Cameron’s pic with the lint brush is too funny!

  5. At least it was in church and you were within easy traveling distance of home. A friend was travelling to Australia (from the UK) with her son who became violently ill. She thought 2 changes of clothes for the long flight would be enough. Wrong. And they don’t sell baby clothes at any of the airports she had to to change planes at ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    Are the boys big enough to appreciate a small MagnaDoodle? Those kept my kids entertained for a long time on the plane.

    Love the lint brush idea – never tried that – I just ignored DS’s hair for years (other than washing it!) Now he’s obsessive about combing it before he goes anywhere in the morning.

    Oh – and #11 – I HATE YOU! I lost a stone last year (stress – hating my job), and have put every ounce back on (job has become less horrible!) I’m still a medium, but just barely, and it depends on the brand!

  6. very creative T13 – Funny and Sad about the church story.
    I hope you have a great holiday and Ian is fully recovered.

  7. “Find Cameronโ€™s hair brush instead of using the lint brush, despite how effective it may be.”

    My favorite! Funny, I never thought of using that. I just cut the kids’ hair super short so I wouldn’t have to worry about brushing it at all.

  8. O.K. Make sure they get all of this sick-kid-stuff out of their systems before you get on the plane to go to Scotland. The church thing was funny.

  9. Melisa: I found the lint brush abandoned by little fingers on my carpet floor, I picked it up and tried it and was totally surprised and pleased!

    Lou: Couldn’t agree more on the sicknesses!

  10. Oh yes… the putting away of washing….I go through phases of putting it all away after every load or waiting until there are 10 clean piles and doing it all at once.
    Good for you for losing all that weight and without the treadmill too!! You’ll be able to have some guilt free fish and chips then ๐Ÿ™‚ I have a baby B’air or at least did…are you getting a seat for the youngest….is his car seat going on the plane??

  11. I know the “pain” of a root canal and a crown. I knew I had to get it done but my crappy insurance wouldn’t cover both because it was over my -limit. So, I had to wait another six months to get one part done in December and then come back in January soon after to finish with the crown. The root canal was a breeze and I was to work that night (when I worked nights–no longer!) and everyone was surprised. I’m a champ ๐Ÿ™‚

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