Talking About Things I Miss from Scotland

Here is a list put together by my good friend Siobhan.  The comments after each entry are my own though -John N.  And after his are mine -Siobhan
ten pence mixtures – although the 10p mixups weren’t what they used to be even before I left. For one they cost 20p!!!  I miss them in general, not specific to a decade.  Fanny.

corner shops – More so being able to pop into Spar for a tin of soup, 4 rolls and a Fruit Corner! 
Nah, give me a chelsea bun any day …

chips and gravy – Chips and Curry Sauce!!! 
Hey, this is my fantasy!

being able to walk somewhere – and being 50lbs lighter because of it
speak for yourself lard ass – more like 15-20

sausage rolls – oh yes Sausage Rolls, and scotch pies fae Greggs the Baker, and real dougnuts from Greggs as well. Jam doughnuts, and doughnuts with chocolate icing on it! That actually tastes chocolatey
and cheese and onion pasties, and cornish pasties, and scotch pies, and bridies … and fudge doughnuts from Auld’s

the coast – LMAO!! Remember when you kept jumping into the white foam until I told you it was pollution. And even then you argued because the seagulls were eating it. Classic!  (This comment was just for Siobhan, but I thought I would still include it here.  Because it’s still hilarious) 
I don’t remember any seagull comment, and Ellen ran down first as I remember it.  I did it for attention anyway, seemed to have worked, you still remember it.

not having to spell my name (at least in the last 5 years BEFORE I left) – k when ever I spell my name I have to say ENN EE DOUBLE U AY FOR APPLE ELL ELL. And they still spell it wrong. It’s not NEWELL. Since when did E stand for Apple!!! The other day in class I said E for Eggbert and the whole place errurpted. I love me!  Oh geez …

bagpuss – lazy bass that he is. And seriously what wee lassie actually owns their own shop. They never had any customers, how did it stay open? I say it was a freaking front! I did like the mice!  I miss all the old kids shows in general, Bagpuss was too obscure for me really.

sausage suppers – Fish Suppers. Black Pudding Suppers All drenched with broon sauce Nae fish suppers, that’s pure mingin’, sausage, pie and hamburger …

slice aka square sausage – Aye and to say a pun a’ slice and for someone to know what it is!  And while we’re at it – stovies

any kind of sausage really – real sausages and real bacon

safeway – I love the Safeways

newsagents – is this no the same as a corner shop?   Naw, loadsa magazines and bigger selection of chocolate

potato scones – Tattie scones. I make my own now. Not as good but still tasty

potato waffles – pass with a fry up

brown sauce – Cannae beat the broon sauce man

heinz soups – Campbells sucks ass

cornish pasties – Oh aye man

the wombles – of wimbledon common are they. Making good use of the things that they find. Things that the everyday folks leave behind.  Ahh that mad old Uncle Bulgaria.  With his wee mad hat and coat.  Don’t eat all of the hot biscuits noo.  Ye’ll just make yourself hiccup.

wellies – if it wisnae fir yer wellies. Where wid ye be? You’d be in the hospital or Infirmerie

tizer – hmmm Fruity Fizzy juice. I miss just calling soda, juice. I don’t care if there isn’t actually real juice in it, it’s still juice to me!

tesco cheese aisle – tescos is too dear but their cheese selection is unrivaled

french fancies – sweet and good

red amber green amber red – oh aye.  And hilarious that no American will have a scoobie whit that even is referring to.

crusty rolls – brilliant. I found some at Smiths that were almost the same. But not really. i was just dreaming!

bacon sarnie – Wie lashings ay broon sauce

top 40 singles – and complaining aboot the pish n the charts these days!!

rain, some times – I always miss the rain. Rain that disnae flood yer basement. Cause you don’t huv a bloody basement in Scotland to flood!

no chance of watching someone run a red light – lol

knowing what the name of a cut of beef is – stewing steak, is fir yer stew. Makes it that much easier people!

teletext – internet before internet wis even oot

british tv – all this good stuff comes on and I’m not there to enjoy it. Real satire that is tongue in cheek and does not require a laugh track to tell me when I was supposed to laugh!

jam doughnuts – See comment above about Greggs

real hot cross buns – They were hot and they were cross. Those mad wee bastards

singing a nursery rhyme without changing the words – It’s not bloody “Ashes Ashes!!” It’s “Attishoo Attishoo!” It was a British epidemic don’t tell us how to sing it  And the wheels on the bus go round and round all day long, because we have bus services that go all day long, not just from 7-3 or whatever the heck it is.  And it’s head shoulders knees and toes, eyes and ears and mouth and nose … And ABC’s are sung to the tune of “this is the way we wash our face” (on a cold and frosty morning, not freakin early in the morning) …


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