I thought I’d take another stab at this week.

The Cryfest

Not one to pull his bottom lip in when he bawls, Cameron sticks it out. Right out. There’s three distinct stages:

Ian never cried like this, so as you can imagine, I have a ton of these types of pics. I shouldn’t laugh at him, but I can’t help it, it’s so pathetically cute!

The Haiku theme? Hair
Well, Ah didnae plan ahead (no pun intended)
This is what you get:

The front door opened
T’was Ian, “I brought you these”
Just out-of-the-blue

Sigh, my heart melted
My l’il one picked me flowers
I love him to death

* There was an Urban Legend of sorts going around (still is) when I was a kid, that if you touched the yellow part of dandelions and got the yellow on you, you’d pee the bed that night. I must’ve touched a ton of them growing up.

Wikipedia.org can be quoted as saying:

“The Scots take enormous pride in the history of Scottish invention and discovery.”

Personally speaking, this seems like a gross understatement. I grew up learning all about the great inventors and pioneers in Primary school — my Mum even has a heavy-bound book entitled “Inventions that changed the world”. Joking aside, here it is, my list of inventions and discoveries that changed our world, all from the great people of Scotland.

1. Do I have the chachungas to list TELEVISION as number 1? Ha-ha-ha, Yes, yes I do.

John Logie Baird (1888-1946), Helensburgh, Scotland:
“On March 25, 1925, Scottish inventor John Logie Baird gave a demonstration of televised silhouette images in motion at Selfridge’s Department Store in London. In 1927, Baird transmitted a signal over 438 miles (705 km) of telephone line between London and Glasgow. In 1928, Baird’s company (Baird Television Development Company / Cinema Television) broadcast the first transatlantic television signal, between London and New York, and the first shore-to-ship transmission. He also demonstrated an electromechanical color, infrared (dubbed “Noctovision”), and stereoscopic television, using additional lenses, disks and filters. In parallel, Baird developed a video disk recording system dubbed “Phonovision”; a number of the Phonovision recordings, dating back to 1927, still exist. In 1929, he became involved in the first experimental electromechanical television service in Germany. In November 1929, Baird and Bernard Natan of Pathe established France’s first television company, Télévision-Baird-Natan. In 1931, he made the first live transmission, of the Epsom Derby. In 1932, he demonstrated ultra-short wave television. Baird’s electromechanical system reached a peak of 240 lines of resolution on BBC television broadcasts in 1936, before being discontinued in favor of a 405-line all-electronic system developed by Marconi-EMI.” - wikipedia.org

In a banter-fuelled discussion with my FIL, I responded a little too defensively, “come on, do you really think someone from Idaho could invent the TV?!” It was then I recalled he was born in Pocatello…

2. TELEPHONE - Alexander Graham Bell (1847-1922), Edinburgh, Scotland.

3. IMPROVEMENTS TO THE STEAM ENGINE- James Watt (1736–1819), Greenock, Scotland.

4. PENICILLIN - Sir Alexander Fleming (1881-1955), Lochfield farm near Darvel in East Ayrshire, Scotland.

5. THE PEDAL BICYCLE - Kirkpatrick Macmillan (1813-1878), Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.

6. FIRST WORKABLE RADAR SYSTEM - Sir Robert Alexander Watson-Watt, a descendant of James Watt, (1892-1973) Brechin, Scotland.

7. ADHESIVE STAMPS and POSTMARK - John Chalmers (1782-1853), Arbroath, Scotland.

8. INSULIN - John James Richard MacLeod (1876–1935) of Clunie, Perth and Kinross, Scotland.

9. TARMACADAM (TARMAC) ROADS - John Loudon Macadam (1736-1856) Ayr, Scotland.

10. THE U.S. NAVY - John Paul Jones (1747-1782) Kirkcudbright (’Kir’kood’bree‘), Scotland.

11. WHISKY - Derived from Gaelic word for “water”, and given its full title of “uisge-beatha” Water of Life. “The first written record of whisky comes from 1405 in Ireland, where it was distilled by monks. It is also mentioned in Scotland in 1496. However it is thought that whisky had already been around for at least several hundred years prior. When or where whisky was first distilled is unknown and the local, undocumented beverage production during the period makes identification of the drink’s origin difficult. Additionally, it is possible that different groups discovered processes of distillation completely independently of one another.”
Arguably the best whisky in the world is distilled in Scotland. It is unofficially the Scottish National Drink. Irn Bru is “the other national drink”.

12. THE PNEUMATIC TYRE - John Boyd Dunlop (1840-1921), Dreghorn, Scotland.

13. BRIDGE DESIGN Sir William Arrol (1838-1913) Houston, Renfrewshire, Scotland; Thomas Telford (1757-1834) Westerkirk, Scotland; & John Rennie (1761-1821) East Linton, Scotland.

There are many more far too numerous to mention, but a comprehensive list can be found here. A few others, for example are:

PIONEERING THE USE OF ANTISEPTICS - Joseph Lister (1827-1912) Edinburgh, Scotland
CHLOROFORM, AN ANAESTHETIC discovered by Sir James Young Simpson of Bathgate, Scotland.
LIGHTHOUSE DESIGN - Robert Stevenson (1772-1850)
THE ULTRASOUND SCANNER - Ian Donald (1910-1987)
BANK OF ENGLAND founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland
GOLF circa. 1100
FOOTBALL The first known rules of the game were published in Scotland. Edinburgh was home to the world’s first club The Edinburgh Foot Ball Club.
BASKETBALL James A. Naismith (1861-1939) Although its origins hail from Canada, his parents were both emigrants. Guess where from?
THE FOUNTAIN PEN Robert Thomson (1822-1873)
THE MRI BODY SCANNER John Mallard in 1980
THE BREECH-LOADING RIFLE - Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.
Honourable mention: FIRST MAN NAMED IN THE BIBLE - King James VI - KJV

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I posted this today and my good friend Laura, posted this. If you watch any video today, let it be this one. It also gives great insight into us Scots. Incidentally, I went to Primary and High School with the narrator’s cousin, Sharon.

mooth :

The mouth. Someone considered to be well-endowed in this department may have it said of him that he has a mooth like the Clyde Tunnel. A person who has irregular or stained teeth may be described as having a mooth like a row of condemned hooses or buildings.

One of the unpleasant after-effects of a heavy drinking session, especially when mixed with smoking is a mooth like a pocket of douts (cigarette butts). A similar expressing is a mooth like a badger’s bum or arse. One can’t help but wonder why a badger should be considered particularly unpleasant in this department and indeed, how anyone found out.

The phrase you’ve a mooth indicates an offer of food or drink to a guest:

“Ye know, Ah sat in the hoose for a good hoor an’ a hauf, an’ they never thought tae say, ye’ve a mooth.”

Well my friends, my suspicions have been confirmed: I’m a frickin’ creative genius! We just found out Bryan won the iPod Touch from the competition in April. Between the both of us, we rarely win anything, so as you can imagine, having just found out outside while Bryan was sitting on the lawn tractor talking to a colleague at work on the phone, I leapt in the air, punching it with both hands. (How’s that for a hyper-excited run-on sentence?)

The winning name? Big Sky Cafe. Doesn’t sound too creative does it? That is, unless you know where Bryan works. The company name is in there. I know, I’m that good.

I think I should at least get visiting rights.

He also wins 10 free meals, but…pfff…who cares about that?

I’ve never participated in before, but thought I’d take a squizz (a wee look, in case there was any doubt!) at the theme for this week. I had to. I just had to.

Personally, I think the Lab safety specs really complete the look.

Montana has it –
Purple mountains majesty
They say “God’s Country”

The majestic mountains woo me, I luv the scenery outside my front door.

Ian is on the left

Live here long enough
And you’ll look like the locals
Well, if you’re a man

Here’s Bryan’s theory
Only cops and firemen
Wear this kind of ’stache

You’ll be happy to know all these, bar the first one, are my shots.

In no particular order: (But I would say that…)

1. Inverness. The Highlands’ biggest city.

2. Loch Lomond. As you leave the industrial capital of Scotland (Glasgow) behind and head for the Highlands, you’ll be privy to some spectacular scenes and breath-taking serenity. A beautiful scenic rural area of Scotland, with break-neck, windy, narrow roads and an amazing view to distract you. Mind the rock on the passenger side as you glide past tourist coaches, then your heart suddenly stops as you fear death itself. It’s worth it though.

3. The Old Man of Stor, Isle of Skye. Spectacular scenery in a breath-taking location.

4. Edinburgh and Stirling Castles.

Edinburgh Castle (Edin’burra, nae “Edinburg”, mind)
A tiny chapel, built on the summit of the castle rock in the early twelfth century, is dedicated to the memory of Queen Margaret and is the oldest building in Edinburgh Castle.

Stirling Castle
Most principle buildings date from 15-16th century

5. Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum (Glasgow).

6. The very rustic, remote areas of the Highlands.

7. Glencoe. (Gaelic: “Gleann Comhann”) Not the highest point in Scotland, but awe inspiring.

8. The Glenfinnan Viaduct. Made famous by the Harry Potter series films.

9. Princes Street, Edinburgh. A shopping metropolis in Scotland’s capital on one side and a honkin’ huge castle on the other. Don’t worry, it trips us out too.

10. Fort William. The only place IN THE ENTIRE WORLD where McDonald’s ALLOWED them to change the name (Mac Dhomhnuill’s). Oh, and it’s pretty too. The biggest little city up north.

11. Carnoustie. Another golf h(e)aven - other than St. Andrews, this is. Apart from that, I totally love the name. (Auchtermuchty and Crianlarach come a close second and third)

12. Buchanan Street, Glasgow. A shopper’s Utopia. I could spend hours on this street alone. Not aLONE, but, you know…alone.

13. Eilean Donan and Dunnottar Castles.

Eilean Donan Castle, built in 1220

Dunnottar Castle, outside Aberdeen (older than dirt, i.e. The Dark Ages)

P.S. Although I would love to lay claim to these wonderful shots of my homeland, they were all retrieved from a search engine who shall, for my own selfish purposes, remain nameless. That, and they’re already rolling in money, and who am I to keep them in the lifestyle they’ve become accustomed to?

I crafted part of a post yesterday, went out and visited a friend for a while, came home, relaxed and watched some of my favourite BBC America early afternoon shows with Ian. We weren’t even part-way through the last one when Bzzz-pop! EVERYthing went off. I sat for a moment, thinking it would come back just like it did the other day — nothing. It wasn’t even raining outside, so what was going on?

We went to the window not really expecting to see anything, and saw this:

Downed power lines: The only exciting thing around here for years. (Can you spot the cop?)

“Well, I’ll vacuum the floor, there’s nothing better to — crap!”

“I’ll put a wash on…” sigh

“Maybe I’ll get onlin…”

After about 20 minutes of nothing, the road was blocked off and the power company finally showed up to start the work. It went on. And on. And on.

Three hours later, I actually had a rational thought: I’ll start dinner, it’s a gas cooker/stove. Yeah, it is, but I planned on making a new dish last night, one that I know the boys will love AND EAT, and guess where the Chicken Crescent Roll recipe was? Online at recipezaar. So much for that craving.

The closer it got to 6 o’clock the more I worried about how I could get a message to Bryan. You see, I think I am the last of a dying breed that doesn’t, and never has, owned a mobile/cell phone. Even my own Mum has one. I’ve never really had a need for one - well, maybe with the exception of that one time the creepy guy from work followed me home (on foot) and I had to call the Fuzz, but that’s another story - and just never got one. Bryan has one and that’s good enough for me.

At least for now.

He managed to talk to the cop parked at the bottom of the street into letting him gain access to our road (it’s a dead end) and came home. Seeing as there wasn’t much else he could do, he got on the lawn tractor and mowed the lawn for an hour-and-a-half, then started up the barbecue while I made potatoes and green beans with the water we had. (We live in an un-incorporated “town” and have a underground water well. A well powered by e-l-e-c-t-r-i-c-i-t-y. If we drain the reserve, we can’t bathe, shower or even pee and flush. It’s fantastic.)

As the night drew on and the workers’ crane travelled up and down replacing the poles and cables the passing logging truck had pulverised, we put the boys to bed dirty (they’d been in the sandbox earlier), and in total darkness.

And twiddled our thumbs.

As we sat sharing the earplugs to Bryan’s iPod, I couldn’t help but think about how the Amish would laugh at us Englishmen, wallowing in our own self pity we’d created. With only a camping lantern as a distraction, and a box of matches as our passport to gastronomical modernisation, they’d guffaw at how our life had come to a screeching, kidless halt at just 9 p.m. It was then I realised we were lacking in the two person entertainment department: No UNO cards - not even a full deck of face cards, and no Twister Wheel of Fortune to beat the pants off of Bryan with.

Maybe I should’ve just gone and cried myself to sleep with my two faceless Amish dolls.

Around 02:15, I woke with a jump and had this eerie feeling someone was in the house. My eyes flicked open wide. Would you Adam & Eve it?* The power was back on. A whopping eleven hours later, some sort of normalcy had returned.

It really is amazing how we can all become a slave to electricity; and it’s not until we lose it, that we realise how much we depend on it.

Electricity is my Crack.  There, I’ve said it.

*Cockney slang: believe it.

Surrounded by poo
Nappies were rarely just pee
Went on forever

Thought it was his teeth
I’m still hoping it’s his teeth
Gluten allergies?

Theory: I have one
I really hope it’s not true
He has dairy squirts

Aww, poor little man
“Cheese” is a new word for him
Let’s hope it’s not that

Being a second-time Mum, I’m a little more laid back, I don’t feel like I react like I did with Ian, but of course, concern is still there. He rarely has had just a pee nappy for over 2.5 months and I knew it had to be something else and not teething — quietly hoping it wasn’t.

We took Cameron to the doctor on Wednesday, they squeezed us in. I mentioned the slightly elevated temperature, the ear tugging and the nasty nappies. He told me he didn’t have an ear infection, but his frequent “movements” could be an allergy to gluten. That would be such a nightmare, then again, I don’t like the idea of him having an intestinal disdain for dairy either. He handed me some paperwork for the blood work and we went across the street to the lab at the hospital.

I knew he was a little toughie, he rarely cries from needle jabs in the legs. Bryan sat with him and held down an arm to minimise the flailing and showed him his mobile/cell phone. The phlebotomist was great, but even more surprising, Cameron did amazing too. All he did was stare at her jabbing him for the blood draw and pull out a wee petted lip. No tears, no wailing. he was a wee champion!

Now we have to play the waiting game, and if the results are negative, no dairy products will be gracing his life for two weeks. He’ll be “maaah”ing for yogurt and cheese.

Life will be bleeting fantastic.