HF: A Dog’s Life

It’s been three weeks now
Since our impulse buy puppy
I still think I’m nuts

Such a cute wee thing
He’s hypoallergenic
And he doesn’t shed

So what have I learned so far?

1. I’d rather potty train a puppy than a toddler
2. I’d rather chase a toddler with contraband than a dog
3. Terrorising a dog is a 4-year-old’s full-time job and mission in life
4. I now know when Cameron has pooped because Toby follows him bouncing around his nappy/diaper
5. I must never say “I need to be more impulsive when I buy things” out loud EVAH again
6. Crate training is easier than I initially thought
7. Whilst sitting on the laundry room floor with the door closed coaxing a small dog into his crate, anything can happen outside of that realm. After a few minutes, I heard Cameron screaming bloody murder for me, obviously unaware of my whereabouts. I leapt from my position, sprinted across the kitchen area and located Cameron beetroot red, in distress and unmistakably butt naked. I located the offensive material on the floor on MY SIDE OF THE BED, and for the most part, it was empty. The contents had been deposited directly onto my carpet. If it wasn’t the dog doing it, it was him. I can’t win.
8. Dog farts stink. Maybe that’s why they’re called Blame Hounds?
9. Puppies will bark at ANYTHING including a shrub moving in the wind, their own shadow and the bloody vacuum
10. This dog has kicked my butt into domestic shape. My floors haven’t been this picked up in months. I hate that dog