We have re-scheduled everything, and what a blessing it is that United are waiving the $200-a ticket fee to change the flights.  We tried to get it as far out as we could to allow enough time, not knowing when the funeral would be until today.

We had to travel to Glasgow yesterday to buy a suit for Bryan.  He didn’t bring his so he would have one less pair of shoes to pack too.  It really was a little unexpected to us all that she passed when she did, my brother didn’t bring his suit when he came down from Skye with his family and had to drive the 3½ hours back home again.He came back two days later.  Anyway, they had it tailored and back to us today after lunch, free of charge.

The funeral is this Friday at 1 p.m.  We head back to Heathrow on Monday and fly out Tuesday.  I wish I had been able to get online more and share more, but it just hasn’t been possible.

Thank you for your support, it really has buoyed me up.

At 3:20 a.m. GMT today (9:20 p.m. EST) my Gran passed away.  From what we can tell, she had some Irish music blasted in her room and watched some Daniel O’Donnell on DVD.

The nurse phoned to say her breathing was shallow and to come out, not even ten minutes later, she was gone.  We spent some time with her in the hospital, equally crying and laughing over things.

I was the last to see her around 4 p.m. and spent an hour with her.  She didn’t elude to anything (she wouldn’t have wanted to worry any of us) but I could almost sense it.  And I know she knew.

As a backtrack, the day I walked into her room for the first time, her face lit up and she smiled.  What a blessing that was to me.  I have a feeling she waited for me.  I know she spoiled me in life, I was her only grand-daughter.  She will be missed.

Depending on what the airline says, we may be here now till 05 April rather than leaving on the 25th.  Thank you everyone for your support, you have no idea what it really means to me.  I love you all.

My brother doesn’t have a wireless modem and we haven’t had as much time as I would have thought, so it’s been hard to get online.

Surprisingly after a five year absence, I haven’t experienced any culture shock, I have been fine and swung right back into life here in Scotland.  If the truth be told, I realised quickly how much I had actually watered down my accent, but after just two days had gained it back.

If I’m honest, I worried that coming back to Scotland I would feel fat and out of place, but surprisingly, I’m one of the thinner ones now.  So that’s made me feel better no end.

My Gran is up and down day-to-day.  Some days I am preparing myself for the worst, and the next day I go in, she’s much better and able to talk more.  It’s definitely an emotional rollercoaster and much harder to deal with than I had anticipated.  I have been to see her seven times now, and I think I can say with conscience that I’ve said everything to her that I wanted to.

It has been difficult and yet a blessing at the same time to stay in her home with her at hospital.  I have been looking through her photos and looking at her things that I remember from a child.  But it’s heart-wrenching to walk past her calendars (she has five of them) and see it still on October of last year (she went into hospital on the 30th of that month).  Time has stood still there and I feel almost guilty for carrying on with my life there.

Today I asked her how she was doing, and in true Gran style she told me “not so good”.  She always kept that stiff upper lip, and she is a fighter, that’s for sure.  Most would have given up, but she has worked against the odds so many times and is still with us to tell the tale.

It’s hard to know where things are from this point, but if we are here and she passes, we will most definitely extend our stay a week.

Well, we made it here in one piece and in good time.  It took us ten hours to drive here (just outside Glasgow) from London.  Mapquest says you can do it in seven without stopping.  We got to my Mum’s last night just after 8:30 p.m.
The boys did great on the plane, in fact, they were near perfect.  Cameron got a little cranky near the end of the last flight, but other than that they were quiet and well-behaved.  You would have hardly known they were on the flight exacpt for the miriad of questions Ian was firing at Bryan all the time.  And, they managed to sleep a lot which did they great.  Their ears didn’t bother them either, I was pleasantly surprised.  We were a little jet-lagged this morning, but are doing great.

True to form, Scotland is wet and very windy.  Just like it was when I left.  Bryan almost expected a hurricane the wind was blowing so hard.  The (mile wide) river even had white peaks everywhere.

As a closing thought, I’d just like to say, if you ever have the opportunity to travel to Scotland and you can save $1200 flying to Heathrow instead of Glasgow–just spend the money, it’s well worth it.

Leaving for Scotland
Thought about this weeks ago
Well…why the heck not?

Here’s the idea
A photo with your caption
You win, you get stuff*

Not just any stuff
Scottish/British things
Right to your wee door

Cut off for caption submission is midnight ET Monday 10th March
Get crack-a-lackin’ (post your caption in the comments section)

*A children’s book, chocolate, something with tartan on it. Or, something of your own choosing.

1. GlassHallFull asked:
Have you read anything by Alexander McCall Smith? (he’s an Edinburgh native and one of my favorite authors.)
No, I haven’t read any of his books. I am trying to read more, but sadly the boys take up all of my free time. Even when the little one naps, I’m probably recovering the house from the devastation they both caused.

2. Do you have any favorite books or movies?
The one series I have followed was Harry Potter. A friend talked me into reading them about eight months before book 5 came out. I really want to get into all the big Chick Lit books and actually bought a few quite a while ago. They’re still waiting to be discovered by me. I actually enjoy most books I read on some level. The only book I didn’t enjoy was one I read by myself for an assignment for a (like AP) English class. I picked a genre and “Catcher in the Rye” was listed in it. Maybe the reason I didn’t enjoy it was because I may not have understood all the terms. I have no idea. All I know is, I was glad when I was done with it.

Movies. I love films and have a varied taste when it comes to picking something. I love the Shawshank Redemption; Planes, Trains and Automobiles; Black Sheep, Happy Gilmore, The Pursuit of HappYness, 13 Going on 30, Night at the Museum, The Goonies, Back to the Future I & II. I love anything to do with time travel, like Frequency too. I also gravitate towards ‘Based on a true story” films. Although I don’t watch them as often as I used to, when it comes to scary films, ones that mess with my mind are the good ones. Unfortunately Signs and The Ring made me laugh.

3. Toni asked:
Are we Americans really as rude as we are told?
The only thing I took as a little rude and off-putting was when talking with a group of people. I found (and still find) that if someone is talking and it spurs someone else’s train of thought, they will interject and continue the conversation over them. Having had to fend for myself and drop the “she’s quiet” and “she keeps to herself” labels, I now do it myself. I have cut my poor mother off in so many conversations now.

I don’t know if I would use the word rude, but Americans are much more likely to voice their opinions rather than keep it to themselves (like my Mum who would blow up over stuff someone else did or said to her after it had festered in her for hours). I have always been able to stand up for myself a little bit more than my Mum (she taught me to, ironically), but living here has strengthened it.

In California, I noticed less people hold doors open for others.

Living here I don’t see it, but I think there are certain aspects to life where others could construe it as being arrogant. Occasionally, Bryan and I will banter back and forth spewing mock insults at one another’s country, one night he made some remark and I retorted, “You only despise the French because they’re more arrogant than you are.” He laughed, so I won! I find Americans to be very generous and open-minded.

4. Momisodes asked:
Do people ask you to repeat yourself often?
Moreso over the phone than anything else, or if it’s someone who’s never met me. I used to get it a lot when I first got here because people said I was ‘too soft spoken’. Bryan still says that.

5. Does it drive you nuts?
It does when it gets to be the fourth or fifth time, yeah. I’ve watered my accent down a bit just because of that. I also change a lot of my words because I got tired of repeating myself or eventually having to think of the American word for it anyway.

6. Karen MEG asked:
How often do you have to spell your name out for people, say on an average day?
Any time I have to say it, I have to spell it. The sad thing is, in Scotland the name was just getting popular in the last five years or so before I left. As an example, I had never heard my name called out in public where it wasn’t someone I knew calling after me. I was in a clothes store in Glasgow when I heard a mother yell out, “Siobhan! Put that down and get over here!” You’d be right in thinking I wet myself. Sometimes I joke with people who ask:
THEM: “How do you spell that?”
ME: “Like it sounds…”
THEM: “CH…?”
ME: “No–”
THEM: “SH…?”
ME: “Haha no…”
And then I put them out of their misery. The exact thing happened at Costco one day when I went to pick up my contacts. “CH or SH?” “Neither, SI.” She actually huffed at me. I’ve met about thirteen Siobhans in my lifetime. More than you’d think were here in the States.

7. The Grand View asked:
Tell the truth; Scottish or American cuisine?
Sarcastic answer? The only true American food that I can think of are hot dogs, casseroles and pies. (But not apple pies. I too was surprised last year when I learned the Pilgrims brought the recipe over with them from England. Who knew?) Everything else is kinda adopted. And at that, if I do eat a hot dog, the only ones I’ll touch are Hebrew National, I’ve liked them for eight years now.

I used to say, throw anything in a 13 by 9 here and it’s suddenly a casserole!

No contest.

8. Elizabeth asked:
Celtics or Rangers?
Although I’ll happily watch football now (on my own schedule and if I so choose–long story), I tend to steer away from those two teams–especially the Old Firm games. I’ll watch anything else though.

My step-dad was more than an avid fan, he was obsessed. If there wasn’t a game on TV, he’d watch a compilation of pre-recordings he’d made. On Saturdays, he’d watch one on TV, listen to another on the radio and watch a live game out the kitchen window (looked over the local stadium) all simultaneously. After they were done, he’d watch the highlights of other games around the country. I grew to despise Saturdays and would leave for hours just to get away from it.

9. Joy T. asked:
Have you ever been to Canada?
No, but I would LOVE to go. I have always wanted to go there. We’re only four hours from the border, and now that the boys have their birth certificate/passport, we have no excuse! Bryan had never been there until his business trip last month. I was spitting glass at him.

10. Do you plan on blogging forever?
Forever seems so indefinite to me. (See last answers I gave). I’m not sure really. I’ve almost given up twice now. Although it’s cathartic at times and definitely enjoyable to interact with others and share thoughts I may not normally voice in outdoor life, it can be time consuming and addictive! I still can’t say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ though.

11. Where do you see your blog being 5 years from now?
Everyone wants to be popular and I won’t deny that I haven’t thought about it. It can be a little disheartening to anyone if you don’t get some sort of feedback. I’m not looking for Dooce, Rocks in my Dryer or IamBossy et al levels, but I’m kinda secretly looking forward to the day when I get 50+ comments.

I’ve always wanted my own website, but all the names I have wanted are taken. We’ll see, I may still do it. In five years, I doubt I’ll still never want to be labelled a “Mommy Blogger” though. I’m stubborn like that.

12. VA Biker asked:
Do you care for Craig Ferguson?
Oh how I love Craig…his coy smile, his shout-y serious voice and when he laughs at his own jokes. His skits kinda creep me out a wee bit, but I’ll forgive him for that. He admits he “Googles” himself (”I like to Google my Yahoo!”), and I hope he finds this! I’ve always wanted to send in an e-mail, but can’t quite come up with anything good enough. I am very happy for him and his success here. Funny thing is, my husband used to watch Conan religiously for years, he now switches over for Craig without blinking. Muahaha!

13. anglophilefootballfanatic asked:
What do you think of Gordon Brown?
(New Prime Minister who took over from Tony Blair.) As politicians go, he’s pretty damn ugly. Oh…wait. I really only knew him as the Chancellor of the Exchequer (i.e. not very well), but aside from being a very well educated and highly intelligent man, he has a prolific education and political career. I like his forward thinking and policy initiatives. I also like that he’s Scottish. It’s about time.

What about total Scottish independence?
If it’s economically sustainable, I have no qualms about it.

Bonnie Prince Charlie?
I think his cause was (and to a certain extent, remains) noble, he gained a lot of support (and rightly so), specifically from Highlanders, but I also think he made many careless mistakes in battle that cost others their lives. Like most leaders, his life wasn’t without scandal or the lack of women. I almost wish more political or moral leaders were like those of the past, there’s definitely something to be learned there.

Queen Mary?
I’ll assume the First, right?
I actually feel really bad for her. Her Dad (Henry VIII), obviously loved her, gave her her own court at Ludlow castle and many royal prerogatives usually only bestowed upon males, then later in her life, disown her and halt her causes and progress. OK, so we’ll skim over the fact that she gained the nickname ‘Bloody Mary’ thanks to a few (fine, over 300) dissenters she had beheaded, but still, I can’t help but pity her, and all because of her father’s love for a bit of skirt (that could produce a male). Even though he was her biological father, due to a remarriage, she was declared illegitimate from that point and eventually lost all of the rights she had. I mainly feel bad that she had to stoop to gain favour with her father again. Henry (in my opinion), was a few sandwiches short of a picnic. I am impressed mostly, that she held to her faith and never wavered, despite being in the monarchy and in the minority.

The role of the monarchy in the 21st C?
I think my opinion has changed slightly, living over here. I think I now respect the tradition, the pomp and circumstance, if you will. I love that “uniforms” and ceremonies of the guards and Beefeaters haven’t changed through the centuries and that tradition holds true. However, the Royal Family - despite refute - hold quite a substantial burden on the UK. I think the role of the monarchy has changed dramatically just in the last century. I also think Princess Diana was one of the only ‘good’ ones left and I was sad that she died. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great that they all have causes they support and they’ve all been in the military at one time or another, but I think in my mind, they have less importance and relevance to the British public now, more than ever. In fear of being stoned by some English friends, that’s all I’m saying.

Haggis?
It’s spicy, but herby. Doesn’t really taste of anything else other than that. I think it’s funny that so many Americans get up in arms about it or grossed out when there’s Rocky Mountain Oysters, Scrapple and, dare I say–hot dogs?

If you made it this far (without skipping), I love you.

petted lip:

A facial expression in which the lower lip sticks out, indicative of sulking:

“Look at the petted lip she’s givin us…ye could hang out a washin (laundry load) on it.”

Hear it.

To find out the meaning of ‘numpty’, click here.

I wasn’t really planning on posting today, and really, I don’t count this as one anyway, this is just intermission brain fluff in-between my usual blog entries.  Today, I felt like I needed a break from thinking out loud and started on my journey of blog walking through my ‘usuals’.  These usuals, who, since I moved from MSN Spaces who-cares-how-many-weeks-ago-anymore have went from about five to now thirty-four.  Sometimes making it through all of them in one sitting (thanks to bloglines) is still damn (it’s not a sweary word in Scotland) hard.

Aside from the nineteen loads of laundry (not an exaggeration, I either wash everything in sight or ignore the wash baskets for three weeks) in the past three days and planning things out in my mind, I feel like my body has been working hard to fend off the Flu.  I am still OK, but last night was a bit if-y.  Not to worry, I have Tamiflu on-hand if it should rear its ugly head.  Early afternoon right after putting Cameron down for a nap, I admitted to myself that I am exhausted and took a nap too, leaving Ian to fend for himself armed with the remote control for two hours (he did great).

Anyway, I had a point.

I have a cunning plan–an idea, if you will.  All I am willing to divulge is to make sure you get yourself over here on Friday.  I definitely have something up my sleeve.

I’m actually still thinking about some of the questions I’ve already answered, it’s amazing what else I’ve thought about since being asked. Here are some additional points.

Some other things that surprised me about the US:
Debit cards. Back in the UK, I was so used to having people at the till hold on to my card until after I had signed the receipt. They’d take it and compare both, boring holes in both with their laser beam eyes until they were satisfied it really was me. It’s nice that it’s quicker here, but disconcerting if anyone ever stole my cards. It would take much longer to sort out the mess.

The amount of different drive-thru facilities. I had never been to a drive-thru bank until stepping on to American soil. They built some in recent years though.

An American saying:
99% of the saying are the same, including ‘raining cats and dogs’, but there was one saying that totally caught me off guard and took a while to understand: Smacking someone upside the head. I just didn’t get it. What direction was upside? we’d say ‘on the side of.’

1. LceeL asked:
Although I know that Scotland is wetter, do you find similarities between the Highlands and Montana?
The air actually smells the same as it does in Scotland, and that’s kinda cool. As for where I lived, it was in a much more built-up area with a lot of housing and buildings (The Lowlands). My older brother actually lives on the Isle of Skye in the Highlands which is part of the Hebrides (heh-breh-dees). It’s really similar, I think.

2. Jameil asked:
Are you a U.S. citizen?
No, I am a Permanent Resident, or legal alien (ha!) which means I hold a Green Card. It’s a 10-year Green Card that expires when I turn 40 (the fee to renew is $290). It took a lot of time and money to get to this point: around $3000 I think. I stopped counting. Before we were married, I was on a visitors’ visa for a year (two separate fees). When I was making preparations for our wedding, we were also filing some paperwork too, so we hired a paralegal rather than a lawyer to save stress and money, even then, she charged us $800.

After we were married, I was issued a work permit and a social security number. The work permit was only good for a year, then I had to apply for a (conditional, due to 9/11 changes) Green Card. I also had my fingerprints taken. After two years, I then had to apply for the conditions to be removed and have my fingerprints retaken (all at my expense). After almost 4 years of marriage, I got my real Green Card. I could have applied for citizenship after two years but didn’t. I picked up the paperwork for citizenship the last time I was in a USCIS office over three years ago, but never applied. It cost over $400 then to apply. It has been something I have thought about a lot, I had decided against it as I felt like I would be abandoning my family by doing so (even though I can retain my British citizenship), so I’ve never been serious about it. I actually thought about going through with it last year, but as I was about to start the process, they increased the filing fees to $595. I can’t justify or afford that now.

3. If so, when did you gain citizenship and how?
After you file and pay the fee, you are interviewed and go through a series of questions to determine how much you know about US history and government. It is not multiple answer - argh! They also determine how well you can speak and read English. After that, you have to go to a court house and get sworn in by a judge on an alloted day.

4. How do you feel about the immigration debate?
As you can imagine, I have very strong feelings on this subject. I am flabbergasted by the amount of illegal immigrants who are gainfully employed (under the table) when so many others do it the legal way and feel almost punished for doing so. The process is not easy, and definitely not cheap, but it doesn’t make it right to come here essentially breaking the law and expect to stay because of longevity or family ties. I wish there was an easy remedy to the situation, but amnesty is definitely not the answer. It makes a mockery of those who have done so properly and through the right channels.

When I first arrived in California, no one would hire me because I didn’t possess a social security card, yet there were many around me who were being paid (tax-free too) by unethical companies. It’s a touchy but important subject for me.

5. Can you vote? Do you want to?
The only right I am not entitled to as a Permanent Resident is the right to vote. After being here through two other general elections, this is the first one where I would actually like the right to vote. It’s sad that more people don’t. I took the online survey to match me with a candidate. I answered as honestly as I could, and was matched 86% with Mitt Romney. Ironically, I liked his stand on immigration the most.

6. Who do you like in the current election?
I may step on some toes, but I can’t vote, right?

Hillary Clinton, I feel, has already been the President, because we all know who wears the pants in that family.

Barack Obama: Great public speaker, visionary and motivator. I haven’t really followed his policies enough to make an informed opinion though.

Ralph Nader: Was he in a coma or something? What a numpty.

John McCain: He just seems too old to me. Plus, I have watched quite a few pieces on him which have highlighted him flip-flopping, specifically within 8 minutes of saying something else. I don’t know if I trust him.

Mike Huckabee: His last name–it’s not very presidential, is it? When he talks I see Jimmy Stewart and can’t get past that.

7. Do you want more children?
Yes. When I was 21, I wanted four kids. I didn’t get married until I was 26-and-a-half and it took 2 years to conceive Ian, so I feel like I am really behind schedule, so-to-speak. When I was in labour with Cameron, I waited until I was dilated to a 7 till I asked for the epidural (don’t ask me why, I have no idea), thanks to that, it didn’t work properly and numbed my left leg only. I felt e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g and had chills thinking about it for the preceding eight months. It still gives me the heebies.

8. Did you think online dating was bizarre before you did it?
Yes, I thought it was kinda crazy. Thankfully, it was a little safer when I did it eight years ago, and I made sure I talked to his mother and sisters and brother before we ever met. What’s weird is, about five years ago, Bryan and I both filled out the personality profile on eHarmony for a joke and it didn’t match us. It essentially rejected me. It got my personally about 90% right though.

9. Do you want your kids to grow up in Scotland or do you want to live here forever? Will you move back one day?
That’s kinda of a difficult question to answer because I don’t do well with things unless I have some sort of deadline or goal to reach. The thought of dying and being buried here is so foreign to me. I am dreading the day I am in the States longer than I was in Scotland (25 years). I don’t know what will happen, but I don’t see them growing up in the UK though. I wish I could have the best of both worlds. I specifically feel bad for my Mum, her other grandkids are 4 hours away too. I think she should move to the Isle of Skye when my Gran passes.

10. Maria asked:
If you could have any eye or hair color, what would you have?
I kinda like having brown hair and blue eyes because it’s different here (but so common in the UK), but if I could choose, I’d have black hair and green eyes.

I’ll answer more questions Thursday!